Letting go...

I won’t attempt here to be clever or exceedingly articulate. To do so, I believe, gravely threatens the authenticity of what I’m attempting to share. What’s more, it would run counter to that which I’m beginning to understand about the essence of my time here. My understanding, or rather, my acceptance of humility, simplicity, compassion, and patience is beginning to grow roots of enduring strength. The extreme arduousness of this painfully slow process I could have never imagined. My ingeniously crafted social/cultural influences have so successfully pervaded my persona that wrenching them from their death grips has become a full-time endeavor. Life for me has slowed to a pace where moment to moment is recognizable. My glare has been softened. My gaze cleansed, not by the fabricated detergents our society offers and demands, but by the soil, sweat, and simplicity of my labors. I’ve begun to encounter something that has always remained distant and almost inconceivable. That inexplicable something I’ve been toiling toward for so many years. And now…..now here it lies before me…..waiting patiently as it forever has…..listening for my reply and softly smiling while I struggle to hear the melody of our every moment. Shedding the yoke of my complications and calculations, I’ve begun to let go………Merry are my days now amid all too many sorrows. Truth seems to lie in paradox…..and the soothing counsel of the sea that I shall not lose or forget. But these words are seeking to be clever and I’d rather not play this game for they threaten to undermine my new found freedom. These have been days and weeks and months that are redefining my ever malleable standards. I’ve given over a piece of myself to a conscience I’ve too long avoided. Without reservation, without force…..and for this it has landed in my lap.
-ryan