time has left me. Days running away at speeds beyond my control and imagination. I have gotten so far behind with my writing that my head feels insideout. And when I sit down to do it I feel empty……..no words come. I sit. I think. I intellectualize. All at a loss. But meanwhile my heart is light. Everything has come on slowly like moonlight. The sky hinges overhead, azul brillante. But I will inch backward and..……......recall…...
…….after arriving back on the finca in November everything went terribly wrong…….then we left……….then we returned………then everything went terribly right. Ahhh……………………….
The holidays!
the whole thing……..it was unanticipated. But I should have known. The bus station in Xela was nuts. Crowded. Packed crazier than usual. Bus packed hot. Of course!……2 days before Christmas……BIG! holiday here. People traveling about. Family coming. Shopping. Food. Colomba was a madhouse. Our familiar local haunt buzzing bizarre. Looking around lost I spotted the warm presence of Dona Maria across the crazy street. And when little Esbi ran out to meet us…….i felt his light and I became so. I could breathe again. Christmas didn’t really feel like Christmas but it was very cool to have it on the finca. Replace turkeys with tamales……..gifts with smiles……ornaments with firecrackers…….and cold white wind snow with hot blue sky sweat. I learned how to make tamales…..real ones!.......Guatemalan style. I watched. I wrote. I cooked. I ate meat! Did you know that you can make tamales with corn, rice or potatoes?? Interesting.
3 weeks on thee finca were silky smooth –but my body was paying the price. My dog is well and shiny as ever. The community is ready for the film. We were a free and cohesive group of visitors. The kids are gorgeous. The community is used to us. Relationships feel more real……..words more genuine. I hadn’t any idea when i left home 9 months ago…….hadn’t any ideas about anything. Only the idea to leave home in the first place. And I did…….and here we are. And not one day, one moment, one thought of regret. And these coming weeks as we approach the film I still don’t know where it’s all going. I only know that I’m ready to be creative…….to discover more about the community…….and to share it.
I’m ready to have fun. Lots of people are coming. Ryan’s mejor amigo Travis. Our querida amigo and partner in crime Alberto. Our long lost crazy beautiful amiga Margarita. It’s interesting to start something now just as we are about to leave. Seems backward. But it’s just the way things happen. And it’s the only way it could have happened. And it couldn’t have been anticipated.
--Mary
…….after arriving back on the finca in November everything went terribly wrong…….then we left……….then we returned………then everything went terribly right. Ahhh……………………….
The holidays!
the whole thing……..it was unanticipated. But I should have known. The bus station in Xela was nuts. Crowded. Packed crazier than usual. Bus packed hot. Of course!……2 days before Christmas……BIG! holiday here. People traveling about. Family coming. Shopping. Food. Colomba was a madhouse. Our familiar local haunt buzzing bizarre. Looking around lost I spotted the warm presence of Dona Maria across the crazy street. And when little Esbi ran out to meet us…….i felt his light and I became so. I could breathe again. Christmas didn’t really feel like Christmas but it was very cool to have it on the finca. Replace turkeys with tamales……..gifts with smiles……ornaments with firecrackers…….and cold white wind snow with hot blue sky sweat. I learned how to make tamales…..real ones!.......Guatemalan style. I watched. I wrote. I cooked. I ate meat! Did you know that you can make tamales with corn, rice or potatoes?? Interesting.
3 weeks on thee finca were silky smooth –but my body was paying the price. My dog is well and shiny as ever. The community is ready for the film. We were a free and cohesive group of visitors. The kids are gorgeous. The community is used to us. Relationships feel more real……..words more genuine. I hadn’t any idea when i left home 9 months ago…….hadn’t any ideas about anything. Only the idea to leave home in the first place. And I did…….and here we are. And not one day, one moment, one thought of regret. And these coming weeks as we approach the film I still don’t know where it’s all going. I only know that I’m ready to be creative…….to discover more about the community…….and to share it.
I’m ready to have fun. Lots of people are coming. Ryan’s mejor amigo Travis. Our querida amigo and partner in crime Alberto. Our long lost crazy beautiful amiga Margarita. It’s interesting to start something now just as we are about to leave. Seems backward. But it’s just the way things happen. And it’s the only way it could have happened. And it couldn’t have been anticipated.
--Mary
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